i hate when ppl are actually really prepared for a test. Like, who do u think you are? Someone who actually has their life together? that is not acceptable
|—||Sirius Black at some point probably (via quiriusblack)|
nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
it’s getting to that time of the year where everybody isn’t quite sure if they should be wearing coats or not like you’ll see some people walking around in t-shirts and others wearing coats and scarves like nobody is really sure if it’s actually getting cold out or not
What is going on here??
birds is what is going on
WHAT IS ON THAT PHONE
once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory
You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone
go big or go home
Today my friend told me that his older brother locks him in the closet so often that his mom leaves a whistle there so she knows to get him out
"If you love cooking with garlic, you know it does a lot of good in recipes by helping build flavor — but its strong odor can linger for hours, especially on our hands. We’ve all been in the situation where after preparing a wonderful meal, we’re left with the stench of garlic on our fingers — yuck! There are a few tricks people often recommend to eliminate the smell: lemon juice or vinegar, rubbing your hands with salt, or even using toothpaste! But those don’t work — all they do is mask the garlic smell. So what does really work? Stainless steel."
cooking with garlic? jerk off your sink